A story

[Hollow_eyes]

Once there was a sad man named sam. He was sad because a previous story he had help contribute to had been wiped clean.......

[jenva]

sam was handed some tissues to clean up his mess, when he saw.......................

[Dawsopolis]

booobies!!!!

[I am Samuel]

Boobies he proclaimed! And why is Jen all bent over he thought. He high fived his bud Hollow, just then...

[JumpinJack]

Once there was a sad man named sam. He was sad because a previous story he had help contribute to had been wiped clean.......

HAHAHA thats funny.

[Chucky-D]

...minch came up and asked...

[humf]

"do you really think your wife would approve of you oggling Jenva's arse like that mmmm???"...

[dj-so-low]

as Hollow responds.......I'm not oggling, I'm helping her get the stripper glitter off her bum......

[y0ur___nightmare]

....but my hockey mask is getting in the way, so it's taking too long. Then, he looked down....

[twright55]

and saw that something else had 'emerged' that was also getting in the way....

[steelblue]

it was a 1 eyed purple headed trouser snake. The trouser snake looked up at him with his one eye and.....

[humf]

"Sam put that away" - said Hollow as he dusted off the last bit of stripper glitter from Jenva's arse.

Sam had positioned himself like a true professional and had snapped several incriminating shots of Hollow and Jenva with his new camera.

"ha ha" he cried "this is going straight on LiveLeak" as he ran away.

"Dammit" said Hollow, as Jenva started to......

[jenva]

cry into her pillow, at the thought of ending up in the educational section.

[PiRaTeCoPy]

No-one can make you inferior, without your consent. .....or so it was writen on the public gents toilet walls...she moved on to different subject..

[gunner8888]

..-this is what mommy warned be about.. he said silently to himself..

[Chucky-D]

...is that glitter on your chin, Hollow? ...

[I am Samuel]

I wondered where that hamster went he said, now get out of the way. The sun was shining and the birds were singing, was a wonderful day for a shag he told his hamster ned. He looked out over the plains and saw...

[Budwhysure]

An eagle soring over head,Just then the eagle does a dive snd swoosh,the hampster is now sky high and clinging to life.

[Dawsopolis]

Hamster tears will fall, and the sawdust will be soggy again.

[Hollow_eyes]

Is what the native american said as he watched the scene unfold before him. Little did he know that sad panda from the original story was sneeking up behind him.........

[I am Samuel]

That cheating panda again, yelled 14 tounges with three eyes! I'll........

[dj-so-low]

regain my magical powers from my prized stripper glitter.......plucked from the bottom of Jenva's arse.......seems that was the real reason for the Ooggling......

[Dawsopolis]

...but id really like to use jenvas magical, ass-dust-powers to achieve my lifelong dream of being a cabaret dancing nomad from the tribe slap-a-hoe.

Unfortunately my injury....

[I am Samuel]

I have a cousin in the slap-a-hoe tribe claimed Samuel. I will hook you up. But the mighty Casinos might stand in the way of using Jenvas magical ass dust powers for anything other than religous ceremonies. I once....

[jdischord]

Skinned a chicken with a spoon,you would never have thought it but.....

[I am Samuel]

Chicken tastes best cooked over nuclear fule rods. Samuel looked at his mate with three breasts while eating chicken and thought, I do not think it tastes like chicken that has been fed cotton candy. A clown appeared with a hamster and...

[dj-so-low]

with a spoon it's rather easy to disenbow a chicken and use my magical stripper glitter taken from the ass of a saint (Jenvas) to read the entrails and predict the future, as the most important topic to the world is how the new forums on LL will work out, but just as I had the entrials in hand, just at that momment Saint Jenva appeared out of nowhere to.............

[dj-so-low]

but just before this the random story teller apologized for stepping on Samuels toes.........as he proclaimed....."I've got no toes you fool, I'm a magical flying elf, who stays at Saint Jenva and Hollows side to help protect the magical stripper glitter".....as the random story teller hangs his head in shame, the kind and gentle Samuel patted him on the back and said............

[I am Samuel]

Fart lightening and crap hail and bless all on the reservation. But then, all the clowns ran for cover because of the lightening and hail. One clown returned to retrive his trusty hamster ned and fell. As he pulled himself up from the mire he gazed upon a beautifl rain soaked.....

[I am Samuel]

Die you Bastar! Die! But Jenva, farting lightening and crapping hail intervened and said.........

[jdischord]

Oh no....its that 4ft priest with his monkey again...at this point the skinned chicken re-skinned itself,not with a spoon but a.......

[I am Samuel]

Turnip peeler. Unlike the potato peeler, the turnip peeler has better peeling qualities when it comes too.....

[jenva]

peeling the overgrown toenails of sad Pandas......

[Hollow_eyes]

with toe fungus problems. It also makes an excellent tooth brush for.....

[jdischord]

...three legged lamas....coincidently,the priests monkey had one in his pocket.That said turnip peelers are easier to fit in your.....

[jenva]

(rofl@this story and trying to steer it)

Glomesh handbags well, especially if you are on a gay Mardi-gras float, in a parade.....

[Chucky-D]

...on a straight planet, where the stripper glitter is being thrown out in little electric packets from the panda who is in drag on the float...

[dj-so-low]

in drag but undercover.......so that he can find out why the stripper glitter has stop being produced from the thighs of virgin fairies, as strippers world wide are no longer flashy without thier glitter and forcing single mothers and college students all over go on welfare and drop out of school.......as we all know only single mothers and college students strip to pay their way through school.......or so they say.................(damn can you tell I've been to one strip club too many.....lol)

[sabran]

one pole is as good as another......

[jenva]

...when in Poland, home of many poles, and home too...................

[starskyhutch69]

Hillary Clinton's vagina cleaning squad....

[I am Samuel]

I'm just a temp Bill shouted, how come I get the dirty jobs? He remembers his fathers words, "Bill, play piano in a whore house when you grow up, the tips and benefits are great." I should have listened to my old man bill thought as he stroked his hamster Ned, "you'd never desert me Bill said to Ned, he then weeped. As he looked out over the desert landscape a huge bang distracted him..........

[dj-so-low]

as the world outside exploded in a huge flash of light, he ducked and covered his eyes and when the dust cleared he could see 12 galactic virgin fairies, they lifted Bill and his hamster Ned with the power of their vagina, where all faires carry their power, as Bill and Ned floated above the earth Bill thought.........

[I am Samuel]

I wonder where fairy dust really comes from and can you smoke it! Ned told him to harden the fuck up and Bill.....

[dj-so-low]

decided he would smoke the final bit of stripper fairy dust that he had......as he placed the dust into a pipe normally reservered for crack cocaine, just then the fairies pounced on his crotch, one on the head, one on the shaft and many dangaling from his balls.....WFT he proclaimed as the fairies began to .........

[Chucky-D]

...enclose his members in a cocoon of fairy dust, impenetrable from anyone but a Queen Fairy, the dominant drag species of the fairies...

[jenva]

Swished into the room in her dominatrix outfit, and stripped him naked, she preceeded to..........

[bran]

beg for his help..."please,i didnt want to be like this,i wanted to be a lovely pink fairy like Glenda the goodwitch fairything of the west""HELP ME!"......

[jenva]

so he wiggled his pink tush and was limp wristed when he said "walk this way this darl"

[GREENHAT591]

Then they got into a car and....

[dj-so-low]

as they entered the Queen Fairies "car of truth"......her drag costume began to shatter into a million splinters of light, just as this is happening it becomes clear to Bill and Ned that the Queen Fairy is'nt who they thought she was......"Bob is that you, Bobsworld from Liveleak"........"I knew I recognized that dildo squirt gun from somewhere"......."yes Bill it is I, Bob, the protrayer of truth and I've come in disguise because................................

[sluggoo]

Andy has slipped away into the night and I can't find him even with my.......

[service38]

Gay-dar. (I needed 10 characters)

[service38]

All of a sudden, Carlos the international terrorist popped up and started spraying the room with twin Ingrams, laying waste to all the infidels. "Alluh Akbar!!!" CLICK <boom>

[Hollow_eyes]

.....Now this caused chunks of flesh to go in every direction. Some landed on the floor. Some landed on some ladies beehive. Some landed in the deep fryer in the kitchen. Some even landed........

[jenva]

at the feet of the sad Panda ,that was moonlighting as a waiter.

[service38]

....who secretly masterminded the whole attack. Smirking silently to himself, he limps back into the kitchen. "I'm gaining weight", he thinks to himself. "Note to self.... see tailor". "Did any infidel bits get in this soup?".

[Hollow_eyes]

He noted that in the soup there was a toenail and a couple chunks of lung or liver (he couldnt tell which) so he devoured it with gusto. Now that he had a full panda tummy he was ready......

[service38]

....to go make baby pandas for the National Zoo in Washington DC. They pay big money for fresh Panda jizz.

[Hollow_eyes]

......So he took his ice cube trays out of the freezer (thats where he stores his supply) and skiped down the street to the local zoo. When he got there......

[service38]

.... he discovered a sign reading, "No Chinese". "I'm Chinese", he thought to himself. "What did they think I came here for, to build a railroad? Where do they expect to find an American panda?". And so, the great mystery of why pandas don't fuck has been solved. Racism.

[jenva]

Racism!, screamed the panda at the Bluehead. Life was some much simplier when they were all colour blind. Panda grabbed the phone book and started to do a search for a good.........................

[service38]

ACLU lawyer. And Al Sharpton.

[dj-so-low]

over selling yourself for fresh jizz Mr. Shapeton proclaimed......and I'm just the man.....

[I am Samuel]

To free all the repressed hamsters of the world. I will take this march to Washington where I will........

[dj-so-low]

where I will remove my undercover Identity said Mr. Sharpton......I too like Bobsworld am a undercover fairy queen sent here to personally lick the thighs of virgin fairies to replenish their magical stripper glitter, but, as they approached the steps of the white house a most unusual thing happened..........

[humf]

Bobby flicked JR the bird behind his back as Pam dived in the pool and Sue Ellen fell off the stool drunk as a skunk......again........

[Shaody]

Captain Ananllesions being very urinated off from being dumped in the last story, dropped his pants in the market and pissed on the

[Shaody]

Shit I can't even spell my old identity right-Anallesions!!

[dj-so-low]

Fairy queen....who we all know is Bobsworld undercover....as Bob screamed "I'm not into watersports misses"....."my apologies dear Bob" acclaimed Analleisons, I could of swore I read in your bio on buckmeoff's personal website monsterdicks.com.....(oh shit kinda inside check the mike vick thread) as Bob wiped the remaining amount of piss dripping from his chin he thought.........

[I am Samuel]

Why are oranges orange and why do people in China care, Bob thought? I really need to get my pet rock back from Andy because......

[dj-so-low]

I know he's been sticking it in his ass again, madly screamed Bob and that rock was made specially for my ass so that when I lick the thighs of the virgin fairies to produce the magical stripper glitter, my ass is where I store it and the rock is what plugs my ass from releasing the stripper glitter. How am I to ever retain the magical stripper glitter Bob thought, as all of a sudden Andy came flying by on his 4 wheeled strap-onmobile yelling...............

[dj-so-low]

(never done this before tell me if I'm fukin yall's game up, I'm rather enjoying myself...lol.....oh and Bob and Andy no offence meant, just sharing a laugh, hope you guys know that.)

[sabran]

...Noliberals, "GIVE ME BACK MY CHEESEBURGER"...........

[dj-so-low]

as Nolibs aka needsabib gobbled down the 4 pound cheeseburger with one bite....as grease dripped from the folds in his triple chin, Andy and Bob........

[Shaody]

got down on their knees to slurp up the triple chin grease when Bob's hands slipped and he could feel his anal sphincter muscles slackening. He shot up and screamed, gall darn it!, and ran to the window dropping his pants on the way. He stooped there aiming his ass out the window when all of a sudden the muscle's resistance gave way and the precious rock went rocketing out his ass at Mach 29 straight towards the

[humf]

......Police cruiser that was parked outside, as the windscreen smashed, Deputy Skimbleshanks emerged and started doing a rickroll dance and said........

[bran]

"WHY MISSEE BOB DIDJA SHOOT THAT SHIT AND FAIRY DUST COVERED ROCK AT ME?"
[all in capitals cos ee wos on dutee].

[dj-so-low]

Hahaha......as Skimble laughed for no reason he began to feel odd, like he's never felt before.....strangely relaxed and content with the world.......he realized what had happened, he runs to his donutbox and as he expected the Hamburglar aka Nolibs aka needsabib had laced his donuts with the complimentary ron paul personally grown by him Marijuana. Skimble thought as he drifted off to sleep in his crusier, wow I feel so at peace, I don't even care to rickroll anyone..........just as this thought entered his brain in a parellel universe much like our own the mother of the queen Fairy wept as she knew her fate along with her fairy people depended on the renewal of magical stripper glitter and little did Skimble know but his rickroll brought laughter to all the fairies which in turn increased thier production of magical stripper glitter.....back on planet earth Skimble awoke from his slumber to discover...............

[Dawsopolis]

Boobies!!!!!

[Chucky-D]

...boobies so big and plain and natural!

[I am Samuel]

My Mom has big boobs, my Dad must have really enjoyed them Bill thought. Now that the sun was setting low and the moon starting to rise he felt the flesh on the back of his neck crawl....

[humf]

...as a group of Liveleak satanists passed by dressed in dark robes and leading a goat out to a local wood. What a bunch of tossers - he thought, as his stomach rumbled and he contemplated where to eat....

[jenva]

McDonalds came to mind, but then he thought of In N Out burgers, a much better idea, they have a hidden...................

[steelblue]

bondage chamber behind the counter......

[bran]

where i can just HANG AROUND for a bit ,til i decide what to do next....

[Shaody]

so being bored I decided to strip off and tie myself up and whip the shit out of myself. But once I managed to tie myself up I realized I couldn't do any whipping. What a fuckwit I thought to someone else somewhere else so I was still waiting for the pain but it never came. Then I heard the bondage room door fly open and someone entered the room and before I could turn around to see who the asshole was, I felt the first of many of whacks of the whip with 1000 strands sink into my ass. (I thought that I might mention that once the whip got stuck in my butt crack -I laugh) After my body was raw and bleeding and all gnarled up I was able to look between my legs only to see...

[I am Samuel]

Hayden and he was grinning like.......

[humf]

...like a "Cheshire Cat".

"Mmmm" wondered Hayden as he remembered the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland, "what a strange story that was" he contemplated, "that Lewis Carroll geezer must have been on the shrooms" he concluded as he thought about how to moderate the row going on between Jenva, Kyo, and Menolikey, for the remaining world reserves of body glitter.......




STOP PRESS - BODY GLITTER NOW $200 A BARREL

[steelblue]

Hayden then walked in front of me and i noticed he was wearing leather chaps and a cowboy hat, Hayden then said in his sweet voice..........

[Tin_Tin]

Me so Horny....., me so Horney..... me so horny, me love you long time..

Hayden then proceeded to snort his last line of the YAY, the old boy without hesitation started to........

[I am Samuel]

Bump this thread back to the top of the first page he shouted while white powder blew out of his nostrils. I wish I had some pancakes he thought and some sausage, yeah that sounds real good and maybe a beer, even better. Turning around he saw....

[sabran]

Bob from Bob'sworld standing there stark naked eating a jelly filled donut, in utter and shear horror, Hayden said..............

[Dawsopolis]

Boobies????

[I am Samuel]

Boobies! and is that powedered sugar around your mouth or are you just glad to see me Hayden said? Does anyone else hear that whoosh sound?..............

[judyview]

Sam the sam was just a man without a hand to hand to Sam. Was sam the man or was sam the hand?

[judyview]

Forgive my nonsense!

[CodyColton]

... we never forgive, until you forgive yourself first, the jungle roared with laughter. meanwhile, the earthquake relief team was occupied with delivering clean buttbags to all the soiled armchair revolutionaries, who were so adept at the game of death...

[I am Samuel]

The game of death to Judyview was just a game. She had played it many times and won. Nicaguara, Cambodia, Colombia, Sudan, was Judy's playground. Where with her right hand man Sam they quickly set off for another........

[PiRaTeCoPy]

raiding party masquerading as a childrens playground, hell-bent on righteousness and delivering brightly colored beads to the hands of the oppressed...


and bringing mirrors and bibles and hammers and matches

[CodyColton]

and qurans and diapers and needles and butterflies...

[I am Samuel]

and hamsters to spread the word of liberty to all. Just then Sam heard the snap of a twig, turning on his heels he saw........

[jenva]

jen dancing past wiggling her naked bum and throwing her.................................

[sabran]

$63.00 bra in the air............

[nat906]

fairy dust in all directions.just then someone yelled.

[Chucky-D]

It was one of the satanists in the woods. "We need another goat! Send theflesruoykcufguy in here real quick!"

[jenva]

so theflesruoykcufguy comes dancing past with his own portable pentagram mat. Lays it out on the floor, and drowns in the fairy dust bomb left behind by the wiggling baby. Strangely dressed drama queens appear and chant over him..............

[bolognaskins]

Then BolognaSkins knocked on the door. Upon gaining access to the thread, he proclaimed he had eaten his weight in pinto beans in less than a day and had arrived to unleash the soluble fiber Apocolypse.

He dropped his pants, turned to the occupants of the thread and forcefully emitted a toxic and noxious flatulence that immediately killed everyone.

You are all now dead.

End of thread.


HA HA HA HA... I am so not funny.

[Hollow_eyes]

But little did Bolognaskins know , that Hollow actually grew stronger when breathing in noxtious fecal gas from peoples colon.
He rose from the floor and threw the carcas of theflesruoykcufguy at bolognaskins , did a big fat line of magic fairy virgin thigh dust , and began to.....

[Hollow_eyes]

( :D try to kill my story thread eh!? :D )

[jenva]

wonder if he should kill off this story and dispense with the story hijackers. As he reached for his sword, he thought of the words that gave him the strength to slay this warped thread, they were.......................

[I am Samuel]

$63.00 BRA!!!! Sam dances thru thread spreading cheer and beer to everyone. I think my gerbel is cheating on me Sam told his therapist. His therapist smiled as he pushed a habit trail behind the chair with his foot unknowing to Sam. CORNBREAD and BRAS! Sam shouted as he decided he like Penquins better than Gerbels. The therapist took out a ...............

[vorcoll]

Large tube of Vagisil for feminine itching

[I am Samuel]

and began applying it to his mouth. The door burst open and ...........

[vorcoll]

standing in the doorway was the reanimated corpse of the Ayatollah Khomeini screaming.....

[I am Samuel]

Long live Saddam Hussein....oops! My bad, too late he said. I wonder where that penguin of mine has gotten off to? Just then 72 virgin gerbels appeared before him and...........

[vorcoll]

the penguin went completely bizerk at the sight of all those pesky rodents and shouted at the Ayatollah "What the fuck are you doing"

[Doctor Pain]

then the Ayatollah said, "what do you think this means, Doc?" and I told him " hmmm, perhaps you should stay out of caves, take your meds regularly and please for god's sake, stop hanging around Hollow Eyes. he is certifiable you know"

[Doctor Pain]

just then, Doc realized it was only a Flashback from all the LSD he did in the sixties and rolled over to tell his GF of the vivid nightmare he just had. " don't worry dear," she said, "none of this is real. your not real. this is just Hollow Eyes nightmare, so shut up and go back to sleep"

[Chucky-D]

And with that, she rolled over only to expose an arse covered with a mega lode of stripper glitter! Attuned to any discovery of stripper glitter, at least in Doc's nightmare, Jenva burst into the room and...

[humf]

shouted -



"BOOBIES!"

[Chucky-D]

She then quickly ripped off her $63.00 bra, and tried to gather all the stripper glitter off of the arse and into the 38-DDDD cups! But she wasn't expecting...

[jenva]

.......a gimp to come and save her from being stuck to that pole she was dancing around. Her nipple tassles got caught in the pole joins and she almost ripped her jugs off. She was busy screaming for assistance, and recalled the gimp box was double locked, just then.......................

[PiRaTeCoPy]

and the man with the beautifuly shining black top hat and snow white silk gloves puled the last rabbit out of his hat and said..."she was only the bell ringers doughter but by golly she knew the ropes".....at that the vicar stumbled in with the bell ringer doughter and said....

[CodyColton]

" the human soul and its limits, the range of human experiences reached so far, the heights and depths, and distances of these experiences, the whole history of the SOUL so far, and its as yet unexhausted possibilities - that is the predestined 'hunting ground' and love of the great hunt. but how often he has said to himself in despair, one hunter - alas, only a single 1, and look at this huge forest, this primeval forest! and when he wishes he had a few hundred helpers, and good well trained houndz that he could drive into the history of the human soul to round up HIS game. In vain : it is proved again and again thoroughly and bitterly, for helpers and hounds for all the things that excite curiousity can seldom be found..."

[y0ur___nightmare]

...in a strip club.

[richy_dong]

................Next To Richy Dong Whos smokin a PHAT ONE!!!!!

[vorcoll]

or at the very least in chilled out splendor thats what he thought he was smoking, little did he know that in reality it was a big fat one eyed purple ......

[I am Samuel]

Camel. Zoinks! Richy shouted. "Who is the asshole that replaced me spliff with a fucking fat one eyed purple Camel"? Just then a knock at the shed door...........

[richy_dong]

Richy Goes to the shed door and discovers president Bush.................:eek:

[I am Samuel]

Holding a dildo in one hand and a picture of Condaleesa Rice in the other leading a donkey behing him. Richy being the open minded bloke that he is............

[Dawsopolis]

Booobies!!!!!

[BlurryBigfoot]

....sagged to the floor. It was a terrible sight to see such a waste of Boobies, but they were on Condaleesa, so they weren't really female..

"We'll have to scoop them up with a..."

[richy_dong]

..........Snow Shuvel, then post them First class mail to the White House..........

[Hollow_eyes]

.....Where they will be severed and hung from an antique chandalire. The purpose of this was to keep the ghost of abe lincoln.........

[Chucky-D]

...laughing! That being said...

[BlurryBigfoot]

abe laughed anyway, because after all he was still considered...........

[I am Samuel]

dead by many. With that he leapt from the chandelier cracking a whip and yelling "where's my biotch!" Laura Bush kicked open the door and said....

[jenva]

...I am looking for that sad panda, he got me knocked up, and now he wont pay for bamboo shoots to feed our offspring.........

[I am Samuel]

Mr Panda, "I did not have sex with that woman". Where did I put my cigar? thought Panda. Eyeing Laura he spots it behind her............

[sluggoo]

not only the lost cigar but a whole bunch of.........

[I am Samuel]

Gerbels shaking of fairy dust and one of them is wearing a $63.00 bra! I've seen this behavior before detective O'Mally said, but I've one seen it in the Amazon back when I was..........

[Hollow_eyes]

... back when i was pulling my second tour of duty with al bundy and "no ma'am."
Detective O'Mally suddenly had a vivid flashback of his time in the amazon.....

[Chucky-D]

...All the BOOBIES! ...

[I am Samuel]

Boobies Sam thought. Interesting. Why are men so attracted to fat glands? Perplexing question he half mumbeled to himself. I really prefer nice naturals but sometimes the thought of Pandas and Gerbels and Penguins in a movie really makes my................

[sabran]

...mind want to grab a hold of my 12" long............

[BlurryBigfoot]

....fork and stab my eyes over and over because a person can take only so much penguin in a movie before he snaps.

But he chickened out. Forks would really hurt he figured, besides tonight I'm.......

[I am Samuel]

Snaps cried Sam! I'll use Ginger Snaps to lure the nasty Penguins to they're doom. Hahahahahahaha! Then the Gerbels will rule the world! What about the Pandas? Jen said? Screw the Pandas Sam declared! Screw the horney Bastards! With that Jen........

[Chucky-D]

...burned her $63.00 bra and hurled the ashes at him. She then pulled out an edible thong...

[I am Samuel]

I wonder if that's cherry flavored, Sam thought? With that he headed home to a lonely existence. The Harvest moon illuminated his way. The freshly thrown fairy dust weighed heavy in his nostrils. In the distance a train whistle...........

[BlurryBigfoot]

......sounded an awful lot like Neil Young, singing his hit "Harvest Moon". It all came together like a puzzle in his mind.

Sam was excited because the weed he had ordered was on that train, along with a .......

[I am Samuel]

Vaporizor and a great freind..........

[BlurryBigfoot]

....who turned out to not be that great of a friend, because the boxcar was empty, and the whistle had quieted.

"Burned by Hobo Bill again," I thought. "That's what I get for trusting homeless people with good grass".

Tomorrow was Monday too.....

[sabran]

....and I had to replace my $63.00 bra, but on the way to the store, I had to.......

[Chucky-D]

...give a hooker some business referrals. We had a deal because she...

[CodyColton]

knew debbie barbarella and michelle queen of egos, they were trying to steal the UFO when all of a sudden...

[I am Samuel]

Seargent Sabran charged in the room wearing crotchless leather chaps, cracking a dildo and shouting....

[vorcoll]

Ladies and gentlemen I will now demonstrate the correct insertion procedure of.....

[I am Samuel]

Ear plugs during the firing demonstration. Now, if you have been paying attention you should have noticed that I only have one bullet, Barney said to the hushed crowd of four. I need a volunteer from the crowd to hold this...........

[nat906]

meaningless prop [the dildo] then,

[sabran]

......being a Taser instructor, he began to unholster the Taser, only to shoot himself in the foot....While evreyone laughed at him....someone big guy in the back of the room wearing red lipstick, stood up and yelled....

[nat906]

thats not the only shock we will get tonight and by the way if ur finished with that can i have a turn , then

[I am Samuel]

Flung his $63.00 bra into the center ring and started the bidding at.............

[jenva]

...hey! that was my $63 bra, Jen wailed, now some drag queen has gone and put it all out of shape. She watched as the auctioneer, stepped up to the podium and ranted about the merits of lace and................

[KingLawahaha]

all of a sudden the dildo started flopping and shaking and then falling to the floor flipping and flooping around like it ,.itself had something to say,...but then,....

[BlurryBigfoot]

we realized it wasn't a dildo at all, but a fish. We really should have caught on as soon as the flip flopping had begun, but we were all to whacked on......

[tRauma26100]

(damn, i'll make a vid out of this thread)

[I am Samuel]

Whacked on leather and lace, there could be a video in there somewhere but why would chimpmonks own a DVD player? Screw it Sam said, I do not care if pinguins can fly or not, I'm taking the bus because.........

[sabran]

...I gotta get out of this place. Seeing the big fat hairy guy with red lipstick trying on the $63.00 bra is enough for me. So he turned around to run towards the exit when..........

[Dawsopolis]

...I gotta get out of this place. Seeing the big fat hairy guy with red lipstick trying on the $63.00 bra is enough for me. So he turned around to run towards the exit when..........

boobies!!!!!:eek:

[BlurryBigfoot]

"I'm sensing a theme throughout this story" Sam thought, "but I can't quite concentrate with these amazing boobies before me"

"Excuse me boobies but I have to catch a bus." Sam said with his hand in his......

[vorcoll]

inside pocket, Clutching his cell phone, Sam recalled the terrible text he had received from the police a few days earlier ---WARNING THESE BOOBIES ARE FALSE--- Sam could sense the chemical signature of silicone and a cold shiver ran up his spine.........

[KingLawahaha]

I knew should have read the small print,..(wash with non abrasive cloth),.Damn he said,..
these Boobies must be really something,...then the bus came pulling up smoking,.,....but the driver,...

[Chucky-D]

...was Jenva, still shakin' her ass out the front door of the bus, enticing all to buy a ticket and climb aboard. Sam closed his eyes, as he preferred to feel his way past Jenva's ass to find a seat. Jenva took exception of Sam groping her, and suddenly she...

[I am Samuel]

Let out a duck call that any Malliard would be proud of. With that Sam kept feeling around. What are you looking for Jen said? The change slot Sam said! Well honey, that aint it she said! A little to the left...little more...BAM! Just then the bus was rear ended by another bus full of.......

[BlurryBigfoot]

....African bushmen all hopped up on goofballs on their way to a cross-country bee-keeping tournament..

When it became apparent that the bus was full of African bushmen athletes, Jenva let out an audible "yipee", because she knew, like most woman know, that African bushmen have huge......

[Chucky-D]

...dongalation heritage. They are huge and so proud of their dongs, that they often compete for the privilege of being first in line with such a boobie-trap as Jenva! The rear ending had gained them access to the fabled perfect ass! Fully committed and now running toward Jenva's treasured and shaking, currently being groped as a "coin slot" ass, they...

[I am Samuel]

Noticed a beer stand hidden in the trees. BBbbbeeeeeerrrRRR!!!!!!!!!!! They cried! While they were at the beer stand unbeknownst to the tribesman, a monkey stuck a bananna up the bus' tail pipe while holding onto..........

[Chucky-D]

...a tassel hanging from Jenva's new thong. She didn't have the old one that was cherry flavored and edible, because Sam had eaten that one when he chewed her ass out (and the thong). This new blue hooker thong fit her perfectly, further establishing her ass as first class replete with stripper glitter. As the monkey concentrated on the banana while hanging on the tassel, the thong snapped, and the monkey had a reverse bungee fall which pulled it up within inches of...

[Dawsopolis]

...a tassel hanging from Jenva's new thong. She didn't have the old one that was cherry flavored and edible, because Sam had eaten that one when he chewed her ass out (and the thong). This new blue hooker thong fit her perfectly, further establishing her ass as first class replete with stripper glitter. As the monkey concentrated on the banana while hanging on the tassel, the thong snapped, and the monkey had a reverse bungee fall which pulled it up within inches of...


boobies?

:confused:

[richy_dong]

boobies?

:confused:


LOL:):):):):):)

[l8rm8e]

yes!, her ample boobies, but alas gravity affected the monkey too (sry jen), the tassel snapped back violently throwing the monkey to the floor. The slightly annoyed crowd that had gathered started spanking the monkey in frustration while ...

[I am Samuel]

Juggling grapefruits. But in all actualality fire engines are red and golf carts are white, why is the bus painted pink Jen thought. Flying over head a flying squirrel attacked, droping nuts on the crowd. As the crowd ran for cover the bus started to............

[sabran]

.....Shake uncontrollably ........ Jenva yelled "what the frick is going on here?" about that time a flying squirrel crashed through the window and landed on her left funbag....jenva yelled.....

[Chucky-D]

"What is UP with you, hollow, you're in a squirrel costume, and you forgot to zip!"

[Hollow_eyes]

(my dear god why wont this story die!?)

[I am Samuel]

(my dear god why wont this story die!?)

No fun ninny nanny!

[Chucky-D]

Hollow says, "Don't worry, I've got a pouch (jock) on." About then, he notices that it was an edible pouch, and a gimp was eating it off of his very private "squirrel parts"! His squirrel costume eaten out at the most important parts, he yelled, ..........

[Lenjia]

WOW, this isn't as bad as I thought, but then he thought.....

[I am Samuel]

I wonder what Pigmy's do for entertainment? After all......

[sauerkraut]

pigmys are hung like hippopotami, and all i have are these dime-sized bullocks...

[Lenjia]

but if I shift the right way, they can be very useful for.......

[jenva]

....for killing off stories that wont die. Hollow looked over at the naked pigmy and gagged, he then cried into his hands at his greatest LL creation, the story that wont die.:) While he was crying into his tissues, the naked pigmy.........

[sauerkraut]

said, "hey, aren't you that guy on liveleak that makes all his yoursays in black and white and talks like the devil?" Astonished, Hollow.....

[jenva]

...stopped crying, smoothed back his orange hair and laughed at the wonder and intellect of the naked pigmy, who then asked for his autograph. With his new found fan, they proceeded to paint pentagrams around the room, in rainbow colours, just then......

[sabran]

....Warren called and asked Hollow to debate with him...Hollow, pissed that nolibs gave warren his phone number, put the phone to his mouth and yelled......

[richy_dong]

....................."warren you stupid prick, what the fuck did you do that for"

[tRauma26100]

"did what?" Warren said with his soothing voice...

[I am Samuel]

Then Hollow and Warren kissed and made up, everything was as right as rain again. Life is good when you have great friends Hollow told Ted the goat but the goat was'nt listening, he was too busy staring up at...........

[tRauma26100]

...the strange looking spacecraft, that was hoovering high in the sky. "Baaaaa....." it said, and stared questionably at Hollow..

[I am Samuel]

My first girlfriend said Bbaaaaa quite a bit Hollow said, I wonder if...................

[tRauma26100]

"You are related to her. Hmmmm, now there's an interesting thought"...

[Lenjia]

But the more he thought about it the more he came to realize that......

[tRauma26100]

He should be consentrating on the spaceship, that was now circling the darkening sky. "WTF is that thing anyways, it's kinda funny shaped" said Hollow. "Baaa.....??" said Ted the goat....

[Lenjia]

as he turned around and picked a top off a mushroom. "Maybe if you would stop eating these tops then you wouldn't keep seeing these things." Hollow replied in his typical hypocritical way to Ted .....

[tRauma26100]

....But Ted was sure, that the fairy dust covered thing in the sky was real. He baa'ed to it, and continued to chew the shrooms...... "Not bad. I thought these fookers would taste dry" Ted thought....

[sauerkraut]

"but i wonder what happened to the pigmy guy who was standing here a few minutes ago?" Then, as if he were reading the goat's mind, "He was a terrorist supporter," answered nolibs, "and he had to be dispatched." Then nolibs asked Ted...

[sabran]

...If he was a liberal....Ted replied "no"...and nolibs said..."well, you are still a waste of good goat skin"....with that Ted reared back and..............

[I am Samuel]

Shot his ass dead. Never screw with a goat on shrooms Ted said. I'm whacked, I'm whacked, I say I'm whacked outta my mind ya know. Just then a loud whisteling noise came out ot Hollows.........

[sauerkraut]

anus and he exclaimed "quit farting you stupid shroomed out goat!" Now what the fuck are we gonna do....

[sabran]

...with that Hollow heard a noise coming from nolibs, it appeared as though he was not "quite" dead.....so Hollow and Ted.....

[sauerkraut]

just left him there to bleed out. Hollow then turned to Ted and said, "Sucks that I didn't bring my dig camera..."

[sabran]

..just then Ted the goat produced his cell phone camera. hearing nolibs' gurgling noise in the background, Hollow pulled his pants down, took the camera and aimed it at his.............

[I am Samuel]

4cm Wart. Oh wait, that's my dick! Nevermind. I think my gerbel is cheating on me Hollow told Ted. Why? Asked Ted. Because he comes home smelling of someones elses..............

[sabran]

......cedar bedding (LOL)...speaking of bedding...would you like to.....

[I am Samuel]

Go down to the DQ for a chocolate ice cream cone Ted? Naw Ted said. Last time I ate icecream I looked like I blew a seal. Huh? Hollow said. Nevermind you twit, Ted shouted! Fuck off Hollow yelled. Awwww go blow your mom Ted snapped back. With that they both broke down and cried like babies until the wee hours of the morning. I feel better Ted said, me too Hollow whispered. Hey Ted, Hollow asked, want to go down to the DQ for a chocolate ice cream cone? Sure Ted said but then a huge shadow came over them...............

[tRauma26100]

"Who the F be yay's??" It said with a low, gurgling voice. "Be you the Great Keepers Of The Promised LL Land?" ....

[I am Samuel]

Nay, we are the keepers of all that is pointless, but we'd both like to one day become..........

[Hollow_eyes]

......Mild mannered strippers bye night and by day be reporters for stars and stripes who wear sequined jump suits and solve crimes useing our ESP , PCP and LSD.
But sadly our dreams may never come to forewishing , after all , we...........

[sauerkraut]

had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun, and the hills that we climb, but the season's out of time....

[jenva]

........bom bom bom, goodbye to you my childhood friend..........

[sauerkraut]

when will this fucking thread ever end, it makes the birds cry, and Hollow has learned by and by, never leave a story open wide.....

[I am Samuel]

But birds do not cry Ted said to himself, they caw. Just like goats do not fly and gerbels only cheat. Very strange indeed he half mumbeled out loud. Something is rotten in Denmark he told Hollow as he noticed.........

[Hollow_eyes]

.......A sale on squined jump suits across the street at 'Used gimp suits R us'
So he and Ted ran across the street to cash in on this amazing buy one get a jar of pixie stripper glitter free deal , But when they were half way across the street.......

[jenva]

....they got squashed to death by some bogan fat aussie in a wifebeater, driving a Kingswood ute.

[tRauma26100]

The End!!!

[jenva]

The End!!!



make that



THE END!!

NOW TO SELL THE STORY RIGHTS TO HOLLYWOOD.;)

[tRauma26100]

make that



THE END!!

NOW TO SELL THE STORY RIGHTS TO HOLLYWOOD.;)


Actually i'm making a vid out of this fine piece of art...... well, maybe a 2 to 3 part vid, but it's in the process of making.... LOL

[jenva]

Actually i'm making a vid out of this fine piece of art...... well, maybe a 2 to 3 part vid, but it's in the process of making.... LOL



hahahah God help us all :D

[I am Samuel]

....they got squashed to death by some bogan fat aussie in a wifebeater, driving a Kingswood ute.

But just like in the cartoons, they peeled themselves off the road, stuck they're thumbs in they're mouths and blew themselves back up.

This is just the beginning exclaimed Hollow to Ted. This is just the beginning! With our new sequened jump suits with the inlaid tube sock crotch we will rule the world! The women will be all over us. We're going some place where it never gets cold Hollow told Ted, someplace where the beer flows like wine, someplace called Aspen. With that and a yellow rubber bath duck in tow they headed east toward Aspen, the land of fruits and nuts. Just then a menacing penguin crossed the road ahead. Egads whispered Ted to Hollow, this is bad luck mate, very bad indeed. You know what they say about a penguin crossing your path. It means certian................

[jenva]

LMAO Oh dear God Sam, let this pile of doo doo die !!:p:)

[Chucky-D]

...boobies!...

[I am Samuel]

It means certian death cried Hollow! Wait! Ted shouted, hold on now, I have a get out of death free card! Oh sweet cheese burgers Hollow exclaimed! I hope the fries are hot. Huh? Said Ted. What? Hollow responded! Not this again! Ted yelled. Nevermind Hollow said. With that they..........

[Chucky-D]

... decided to let Queen Latifah play a penguin. She rolled on the floor laughing so hard that she...

[jenva]

....pooped her bloomers, flooded the room with last nights curry, and they all drowned in a sea of excrement.


the end, its finished!!! :)

[I am Samuel]

WTF, why does everyone want to kill the story? Fuck it then!....pooped her bloomers, flooded the room with last nights curry, and they all drowned in a sea of excrement.


the end, its finished!!! :)

[jenva]

WTF, why does everyone want to kill the story? Fuck it then!



Its dead Sam, this one is worn out and done for. Start a new one, with a bit of flair, like the first word has to be the last word too, or something like that :)

[I am Samuel]

Say's you LL Mom.



Its dead Sam, this one is worn out and done for. Start a new one, with a bit of flair, like the first word has to be the last word too, or something like that :)

[Hollow_eyes]

Suddenly the earth began to shake.....

Two furry black and white paws burst forth from the soil.......

It was the sad panda....

And he was back to reap revenge on those who killed him!

He drug himself from the soil , reaking of death , and proceded to........

[jenva]

Groan, knowing that this story was back, but he took pleasure in knowing that he had Sam as an ally, Sam got over his blues and took the sad Panda by the paw, off they walked to..................:rolleyes:

[BeenThereDidThat]

Gasp for breath, precious air that had been denied for almost too long!
After a long rest, the panda pulled himself completely from his earthen grave. Exhausted and a twang of pain, clenched his midriff.
He then sniffed the air, and began?


Suddenly the earth began to shake.....

Two furry black and white paws burst forth from the soil.......

It was the sad panda....

And he was back to reap revenge on those who killed him!

He drug himself from the soil , reaking of death , and proceded to........

[sauerkraut]

he thought to himself, "my life is shit".

[Hollow_eyes]

'Maybe there is a way i can use that to my advantage' thought the newly resurected sad rotting moldy panda. Perhaps I should...........

[sauerkraut]

smack jenva for killing my ass in the first place...so then panda started....

[BeenThereDidThat]

smack jenva for killing my ass in the first place...so then panda started....

To search the grounds for a fresh pile of shit to roll in, hopeing that will cover the smell of his rotting corpse.
when then he came acrossed a big pile of?

[judyview]

But instead finds a port key and finds himself back in Aspen, with the women flowing like wine and the drinks flowing like women. But then he notices a sad sad song playing. Greensleeves, and remember something very important from his past. The answer to it all.....

[sumosquirrel]

"Is boobies!!" cried out Dawsopolis. But not just any old boobies, but boobies...

[BeenThereDidThat]

"Is boobies!!" cried out Dawsopolis. But not just any old boobies, but boobies...

"Yes yes, not just any boobies!" The panda drew in a deep breath, air gushing from maggot holes through his chest cavity.
"JENVA'S boobies". he shouted out loud! "I've got to see the boobies that killed me, one last TIME". He looked around his new enviroment and saw?

[Hollow_eyes]

.....SAM wondering if he should add to the story. Sam picked up his pet hampster and a pet gerbil and forced them to mate.

Sam had created a new breed! Gerbster! And his new goal was to unleash them upon......

[jenva]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o