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Old 02-05-2017, 07:23 PM   #1
ericredbeard
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Default Workplace Insanity

So we've heard of fat, slurping, lip-smacking worthless toads filling the workplace with their disgusting noises....so why not a thread about the worst workplace/work related incidents you have ever seen?

What's the craziest thing you've ever seen at your workplace/heard about associated with your employer's workforce?

I've got two incidents. The first was when one salesman thought it was a good idea to spike another salesman's soft drink with LSD. While he was working with customers on the sales floor. The victim told a manager that he needed to take a break because his face felt numb and his vision was "doing strange things". When Steve was gone from the sales floor, someone asked where he had gone, and was told that he wasn't feeling well...whereupon "Mike" chuckled and said that he would be fine in a short while. The manager asked "Mike" how he knew that, and Mike replied because he had just spiked Steve's coke with a little bit of acid, but not enough to cause him to lose all of his shit. After the "WTF did you just say and are you serious" conversation, the crimson-faced store manager fired Mike on the spot, and Steve was told that he was tripping. And Mike thought that his getting fired was "an overreaction"!

Second one was a customer who came in to retrieve a firearm on consignment and was denied on the mandatory federal back round check. He said that it was probably due to "that issue years ago in Michigan". I didn't ask for details, as it's none of my business...but he told me that he and two friends had gotten drunk and then gotten into a scuffle where he and his best buddy had scalped the third guy. When I suggested that the third guy's scalp had just gotten cut in the wrestling match, he said, "no, we scalped him."
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Old 02-05-2017, 08:00 PM   #2
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Was working a call, riding a Fire Rescue rig downtown, we had dropped off a patient at ER, were getting our rig back in service, re-supply, wiping up some dripping, another rig pulled in with a OB patient, had active contractions, dilation, water busted, gettin' ready to pop a kid, the crew off loaded the gurney and were wheeling her into ER, there was a small lip where asphalt transitioned to the cement ramp leading into the door. The parameds were at each end of the gurney and hit that small lip at a bit of an angle, the gurney wheels on one side caught it just wrong.
The gurney tipped and fell over and that lady delivered on the spot, with hubby watching too.
Only time I've ever had to go to court. But everybody was in trouble, medics, ambulance company, the hospital,...... welp.
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Old 02-05-2017, 08:18 PM   #3
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one time was about 5-6
of us setting on a doc eating lunch,one buddy asked me then my other buddy if we wanted a banana his wife packed,when we said no he tossed it,when they left,I grabbed it and wrote a love note to him from my other buddy,told him every time he walked throw our area I couldn't keep my eyes off his sweet ass and how id like to shove this ban a up his ass....and put it in his station....he came running up to me later"l...l...ll...l...lll...l..ook what he wrote me!" For years afterwards the guy word walk backwards threw our department ��
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Old 02-05-2017, 08:31 PM   #4
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Was working at a fish importer a long time ago, some mexican worked in the freezer, his wife worked in the office, some mexican working in shell fish started banging the wife so the freezer beaner brought a handgun to work which prompted the oyster beaner to bring an uzi to work, they fired the hoe and the freezer guy quit, the oyster guy kept the uzi at work and helped himself to boxes of shrimp from the freezer.
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Old 02-05-2017, 09:58 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Velhalla View Post
Was working at a fish importer a long time ago, some mexican worked in the freezer, his wife worked in the office, some mexican working in shell fish started banging the wife so the freezer beaner brought a handgun to work which prompted the oyster beaner to bring an uzi to work, they fired the hoe and the freezer guy quit, the oyster guy kept the uzi at work and helped himself to boxes of shrimp from the freezer.
frozen shrimp suck, not worth the trouble
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Old 02-05-2017, 10:18 PM   #6
Velhalla
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adaptoman View Post
frozen shrimp suck, not worth the trouble
They were wild caught shrimp not these tasteless Thailand farmed prawns.
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Old 02-19-2017, 10:19 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Velhalla View Post
Was working at a fish importer a long time ago, some mexican worked in the freezer, his wife worked in the office, some mexican working in shell fish started banging the wife so the freezer beaner brought a handgun to work which prompted the oyster beaner to bring an uzi to work, they fired the hoe and the freezer guy quit, the oyster guy kept the uzi at work and helped himself to boxes of shrimp from the freezer.
Work!! Do you know what work actually is?
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Ok then, here's the dumb fuck interpretation/translation of what I very clearly articulated in my previous eloquent comment:
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Old 02-25-2017, 02:51 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yorkie View Post
Work!! Do you know what work actually is?
Getting a date on Tinder?
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Old 02-25-2017, 03:15 AM   #9
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Getting a date on Tinder?
Hiring this fool would be a true workplace insanity.
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Old 02-09-2017, 07:56 PM   #10
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Been on the ship less than a week. Back on the fantail with the chief bo'sun watching the bo'suns work on the ropes. This E-3 throws a marlin spike at a 1st class, hitting him in the back. 1st class turns to him tells him 'don't do that again', and goes back to his work. Couple minutes later the E-3 throws a BIG eyebolt at the 1st class. He gets up, walks over, slugs him, knocks down, sits on him, and starts beating him.
I turn to the chief 'shouldn't we do something about that?'
Chief watching this says 'no, he enjoys it.'
'What?'
'He enjoys pain. He's a masochist.'
'Okay.'
In a little bit the 1st class stands the kid up and walks him down to the medic.
I remember thinking this is going to an interesting deployment.

This kid could pull some crap too. for example, he'd disappear for 2, 3, 4 days at a time. On one of the smallest ship-of-the-line, and out in the middle of the ocean. He did this several times. The captain would turn the ship to, to search for him, but we never found him. Days later he'd show up at morning muster, like nothing happened.

He wasn't allowed to re-up, and was given medical discharge.
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