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Old 09-29-2017, 04:46 PM   #401
Yorkie
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How do you know when a redneck has her period?



She's only wearing one sock
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Ok then, here's the dumb fuck interpretation/translation of what I very clearly articulated in my previous eloquent comment:
Go to school, not church.
Duh. Or are you advocating some kind of fairy tale festival holy war of the dumb cunts? ~L8rm8e

What are you? Fucking high!? Chill out dude.~SgtRock
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Old 09-29-2017, 04:48 PM   #402
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What do gay guys call an upside down chair?


A table for four
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Ok then, here's the dumb fuck interpretation/translation of what I very clearly articulated in my previous eloquent comment:
Go to school, not church.
Duh. Or are you advocating some kind of fairy tale festival holy war of the dumb cunts? ~L8rm8e

What are you? Fucking high!? Chill out dude.~SgtRock
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Old 09-29-2017, 05:02 PM   #403
Yorkie
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What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection?



Cracker with cheese
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Ok then, here's the dumb fuck interpretation/translation of what I very clearly articulated in my previous eloquent comment:
Go to school, not church.
Duh. Or are you advocating some kind of fairy tale festival holy war of the dumb cunts? ~L8rm8e

What are you? Fucking high!? Chill out dude.~SgtRock
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Old 10-01-2017, 05:43 PM   #404
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My wife is in a right mood, some twat stole a pair of her knickers off the washing line today.....












She's not bothered about the knickers, she just wants the 12 pegs back.
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Old 10-02-2017, 08:03 AM   #405
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Not really offensive, but it got a smile out of me.



A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'
'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a
crowded waiting room and say things like that. '
'Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.
The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in
this room full of people. You should have said there is something
wrong with your ear and discussed the problem further with the Doctor
in private.'
The man replied, 'Perhaps you shouldn't ask people questions in a
roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.

The man walked out, waited a couple of minutes, and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes?'
'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken
her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'
'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.
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Old 10-02-2017, 03:04 PM   #406
bran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dan123 View Post
Not really offensive, but it got a smile out of me.



A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'
'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a
crowded waiting room and say things like that. '
'Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.
The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in
this room full of people. You should have said there is something
wrong with your ear and discussed the problem further with the Doctor
in private.'
The man replied, 'Perhaps you shouldn't ask people questions in a
roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.

The man walked out, waited a couple of minutes, and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes?'
'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken
her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'
'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.
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ATTENTION:Bran is the hottest man on LL
"Im sorry to inform you that your Penis is too mighty for our group Bran. It scares us."[Dwencl]
Paulingrad in the Drone leaving thread...
"don't do a vietnam on us drone, stand and fight !"
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Old 10-03-2017, 08:55 PM   #407
Yorkie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by syszero View Post
so whats the punch line?
Quote:
Originally Posted by backburn View Post
Huh?
Doh! Lmao
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Ok then, here's the dumb fuck interpretation/translation of what I very clearly articulated in my previous eloquent comment:
Go to school, not church.
Duh. Or are you advocating some kind of fairy tale festival holy war of the dumb cunts? ~L8rm8e

What are you? Fucking high!? Chill out dude.~SgtRock
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Old 10-14-2017, 06:11 PM   #408
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Talking

A woman (Hillary) goes to a plastic surgeon and complains to him that the flaps on her pussy are way to big!
He tells her to change into a gown for an inspection. She is sitting on the table, he tells her to put her feet in the stirrups, he looks down and his eyes go real wide!
He says they're the biggest flaps I've ever seen on a pussy in my life. So, Hillary says can you help me? Of course I can! She says I don't want anyone to know about this beside ME, You and my husband of course! No problem he says.
He does the surgery she's coming out of her sleepy state. She looks to the table to the right of her. she sees three vases full of flowers.
The doctor comes in and says you look like a teenage girl again, and he gets a handheld mirror to show her. She looks down and screams out MY GOD it's beautiful! I'm so glad you like it Hillary. She then says, I have a question. Shoot he says. Who's the three vases full of flowers from?
He says, one is from Bill, the other is from me, and the third one is from a woman up in the burn unit who needed new ears!
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Old Today, 01:45 PM   #409
dan123
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A vicar is on a train and this pregnant woman gets on and sits down opposite him.
As they travel the vicar is reading his newspaper and the woman takes out her knitting.
As she is knitting, about every 20 minutes she reaches into her bag and pulls out a bottle of pills from which she takes one and swallows it.
This goes on for about an hour when the vicar sees the label "Thalidomide" on the bottle.
"Excuse me", says the vicar to the woman, "Do you know the effect that could have on your unborn child?"
"Yes" says the woman "I never could knit sleeves."
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